you know how many times i have sat down at my computer in the last few weeks to “talk” to you guys? you know how many paragraphs I’ve started? how many saved drafts i have from the last twenty something days?
I’m always talking to you guys in my head, i swear. everything something hits me and I’m inspired I’m like “oooooh ill write about that”, and then i go and sit and start and stop. so let me keep this simple right now.
let me just break down what a typical morning looks like now. its waking up a couple hours before the sunrise…. its mediation, its prayer, its reading, its listening to a steve furtick or jud wilhite sermon or putting on the bluetooth headphones and cranking some lauren daigle (which after my last post a client sent me a song of hers which touched my soul and have been listening to her ever since- thanks lisa)… my mornings can be all of the above or only a couple of the above. but these are the most important starts to my days now. being grateful and thankful even though life can be crappy. and in the midst of all of that I’m always writing in my head. I’m always trying to think of what to share with you guys next. what will move you, what will help you, how can i help someone today….
and today was no different. i sit here at the computer and watch the early morning sun light leaking through my bedroom window. i watch the rectangular piece of yellow light start to move along the wall to my room as the sun starts to move across the sky. i take pause and close my eyes and try to listen.
“just. start. typing.”
now I’m sitting here typing about absolutely nothing at all but wanting to share absolutely everything. i mean everything. i want to share my struggles, my rewards, my convictions, my successes, my experiences, my heart, my mistakes. especially my mistakes. because so many of my wrong turns still all lead to the right place. the mistakes of the boyfriends from way back when, the mistakes of a purchase i thought i needed, the mistakes of lashing out in anger at someone…. shit doesn’t go right all the time. in my quest for perfection i sure made millions of mistakes. and i continue to. but now i know its okay to not be perfect, but i can be perfect at doing my best, and that fulfills enough for me.
heres what i do know as i sit here. you live and you learn, you are human and never perfect. you should not remain immobilized by the gravity of your mistakes or your failures. if you have endured pain, don’t let it control you. if you fall, let yourself be known for how you rose. for in lifes struggles, which there will be plenty, it is how you come out of them where character is built. (as i stop typing for a second i know that what i just typed i have read somewhere-where where where… i open scriptures and there it is: “we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame”). you have gone through so much suffering- maybe a loss of a job, a death of a relative, a sick child, miscarriages… the list of battles we face are truly endless. i am here to say- if i can get through it, you can to.
after all, even after the darkest night the sun will rise.
by the way, maybe i should share photos with you guys too. i mean, thats why you first came here a decade ago, right?
so here are, um, a million pics from this fall. i am pouring my entire heart and soul into this, bc doing this now serves a greater purpose.
the outpouring of people who have reached out, who have wanted to donate to the charity, who have shared their stories with me… i am on an absolute mission to help heal. literally making this my life purpose.
by the way, wanna hear the name of the charity?!
G R A V I T Y : by summer lyn
anyway, ill get to sharing more and more. and loving this journey with yaz so far.
as always, beyond grateful and thank you and blessed that ya’ll are here to watch the art through my lens and hear the story through my words.
<3 <3 <3